#some people arent aware that their experience isnt universal i guess

[cat-madhouse]

sunny. sunny hi. its me OMORI :3 i've sent in an ask before to your blog I think. anyway hows it going?

Hi hi !! Sorry this is so late, I wanted to answer another ask before yours but I'm giving up I think. I'm doing okay ! Had an exam today and will have. So Many midterm exams next week. But I'm alright for now, how are you? :))

[aartifex-a]

i guess i’m in a thinky mood today so because of some recent info on my dash, as a white canadian person who writes an asian (specifically korean) oc i think its important to address other white writers who have characters that are a different race, culture, ethnicity, etc from them:

you will almost inevitably fuck up if you arent coming into your writing with at least an awareness of the dynamics of race re: your characters or world, and even then you probably will still fumble at times. people calling you in/out, bringing this to your attention, isnt harrassment. ive been writing jin as an oc since i was 13. i have absolutely fucked up and done problematic racist shit because im a white person raised in a society that upholds whiteness, you dont leave that kind of pervasive environment untouched by the various -isms, systems, and inequalities of those societies. this isnt me trying to be righteous or “a good white person”, its just honest. you wont ever grow or become a better writer if you dont research the cultures you write and if you dont listen to the people you are portraying and affecting with what you write. be willing to make changes, drastic ones, or take breaks to educate yourself and revamp. 

i can only speak for myself, but i dont think many people would say white writers can never write characters who are of a different race, it just means you need to be more cautious because of the dynamics of how race plays out in the real world. i feel somewhat comfortable with writing jin and trying to incorporate korean culture into his character only because i’ve done both my own research and opted to take korean language and culture classes at my university. i went to the korean culture club which was run by the professor of the korean culture course, and i try to keep up with major news stories out of south korea on places like twitter. this doesnt make me an expert, and i will sometimes avoid certain topics that i dont feel adequately educated on. its something im always trying to work on, and an aspect of my writing that i welcome critiques for. 

another note for writers in a similar position as me, is that while cultural research is important it can only take you so far. remember the cultures you write about contain real, individual people with a diversity of opinions and perspectives. dont make broad stroke assumptions that just because something is considered normal or common in the dominant culture of that society/culture that everyone agrees. ill speak from my own writing experience, but when it comes to writing queer poc, just because a culture/society has homophobic elements or doesnt have legal protections for lgbtq people doesnt mean that there arent lgbtq people and allies in those cultures who are actively fighting for their rights. its important to note the affects of culture on a person, but a person can never be seen only through the dominant lens of their culture. let your characters be people with agency that are shaped by their culture, not stereotypes of a culture first and people second.

its also important, imo, for us as white writers to take some of the burden off of poc in the community when it comes to speaking up about this kind of thing. thats the whole reason im writing this at all. it isnt our job to speak over or for them, but it shouldnt only be up to poc to constantly do damage control, education, and clean up for white people. thats not fair, and it puts the weight of trying to fix harmful ideas on the people who suffer the harm rather than the people who perpetuate and/or benefit from that harm.

and as an end note, i understand that we dont get to choose the environments we’re born into. we don’t all get to be lucky and have progressive families or communities, some of us grow up with some really fucked up ideas normalized to us. its not your fault if you were raised in a way thats ignorant of or hostile to people different from you, but it is your responsibility to pull yourself out of the muck once you realize youre in it. you wont please everyone or be perfect but thats not a reason to avoid growth. your past can explain how you got to where you are but it isnt an excuse to keep going down the same path into the future.

[dbssh]

stuff i need to transfer to paper in the morning dont let me forget to: also dont read this unless youre interested in my very unclear ramblings as i try to organize the Webcomic That Exists In My Brain a coherent concept

defining trait:

i need to make these characters more concise as concepts and have singular driving forces so here we go

also ** = EVERYTHING HERE IS ABOUT INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS AND NEEDS TO BE A SEPERATE CATEGORY

aja: redemption - rather than seeking to be heroic she's looking to find a sense of atonement or internal balance, easily manipulated into doing somethijg by promise of it earning her some abstract Goodness without fully examining the consequence of the action -> this becomes the driving point of a lot of the plot as aja has to learn to question her worldview and motivations

victor: strugglign to effectively summarize this in one word - victors primary desire is to get back what he lost as opposed to moving forward, both in literal and physical ways, everything victor does is a desperation to remain in/return to the status quo - as much as he pegs himself as interested in discovery & creation, he is terrified by change. (-> would eventually be challenged as he must face the inevitablity of change and accepts that things must end)

hutch: comfort - they largely want to remain in a state that is comfortable, that they know they can handle, which leads to them being highly risk-averse and conflict-averse (**this is a MAJOR change in how ive portrayed them & their dynamic with aja before, passing the more impulsive side to aja while letting hutch be a more defensive type, but i still want them to be pretty chill as a person, ALSO i want to play more with aja and hutch having a very passive relationship where they are both so intent on keeping each other safe/happy that they don't challenge each other and have largely been stagnating as people - mayb bring hutchs substance issues as a present-tense thing instead of past? might not be right for the tone though, trying to strike a balance between the morose and the whimsical, so that might gey cut. Hutch Goes To Therapy is still something i very much want to include, because i dont think hutch is a very self-aware person and when these patterns become something theyve noticed [ie when the plot starts and theyre out of their comfort zone and suddenly the relationship is tense in a way its never been] i think they would want to address it [as opposed to aja and victor who are both very content repressing or wallowing])

kasey: curiosity - she wants to do and see and experience everything, and doesnt think out the risk of situations. she's enthusiastic and excitable but also completely out of her depth, and i think as the world becomes bigger and the scarier aspects of it become impossible to ignore she becomes very trusting of and dependent on mentor figures - she feels like a kid who isnt ready to be a "grown up" and at her most desperate point shes very much just looking for someone who can give her The Answer to how life is supposed to be, to explain the universe in a way that makes sense. [** i think she also feels very lost because despite her loving family she lacks anyone she really feels is truly like her - aja is supportive but not very good at connecting with others, hutch tries their best but is hopelessly out of touch with what kasey goes through as a modern(ish) teen, and victor just doesnt know her as well and isnt really able to tell what she needs (and is so busy subconciously trying to make her into the protege/surrogate daughter experience he never had with aja)]

OTHER THAN THESE FOUR the other characters are going to be more utilitarian, defined more by what they do for the protags than anything else because developing complex inner worlds for people who arent me is HARD and its taken like 3 yrars just to get those four down but i guess i should list some minor characters & the antagonists as well?

in general we need: the Guy Who Hired The Heroes, some general other characters to hang around said superhero society (ie: seph/peggy/penny whatever i decide to name her i know what i mean tho, the doctor, some other stuff), Kaseys school friends (abbi(?) & the miles morales type nerd guy have been pretty consistent as her core friend group [but im still unsure if Cool Girl is going to exist or not and to what extent - i dont think ive really got the time to carve out competing romantic subplots or give kaseys eventual partner a full gender arc like i wanted, its just not really the point and would probably be filler/b-story content at best.) its also unclear to what extent the Mean Girl will be a thing honestly i just need a more defined plot outline, but i do want to dedicate some time to kaseys coming of age wrt high school specifically so we'll see.], Kaseys boyfriend (who i havent named but does have a solid personality and an overal design inspo), some minor villians/ redeemed villains with a campy saturday morning vibe

i actually have the antags a bit more fleshed out because ive known the general scope of arkangel for so long so 90% of those notes are written uh elsewhere??? find them

overall i WANT to get a fairly even split between our four protags but i think the main timeline will follow Kasey and her growth bcz as much as i love aja her as a main protag just doesnt super work for the tone and theme im setting up (tho i do NOT want a stuck pov so aja and hutch and victor will be getting thwir arcs and scenes and ect)

ALSO WHILE IM HERE I WANTED TO MENTION I DONT WANT TO DO THE FULL FRANKENSTEIN RETELLING AND KEEP THE ACTUAL EVENTS OF WHAT WENT DOWN BETWEEN AJA AND VICTOR MORE IMPLIED THAN SHOWN - IT TAKES UP WAY TOO MUCH SPACE AND WE ARE DOWNSIZING ALSO ITS LIKE A TOTAL BUMMER WHICH KILLS THE VIBES FOR THE ENTIRE MIDDLE CHUNK ALSO ITD BE SO BORING TO READ A FLASHBACK SECTION FROM A STORY THAT ALREADY EXISTS OVER THE COURSE OF LIKE SEVERAL MONTHS WHEN OTHER STUFF COULD BE HAPPENING - ESPECIALLY WHEN WE INCORPORATE VICTORS TIME SHENANIGANS AND IF WE SPRINKLE A FEW MORE TASTEFUL FLASHBACKS HERE OR THERE I THINK WE HAVE MORE THAN ENOUGH TO GET THE IDEA OF WHAT HAPPENED ACROSS WITHOUT BEING A TOTAL BUMMER FOREVER THANKS

[furvillaconfessions]

A Gentle Reminder

I want to take the time to remind you all that you don't owe your time and energy to anyone. You don't have to have a 'reason' to block someone. If someone makes you feel anxious, uncomfortable or just bad in any way, thats more than enough of a reason to block them. It doesn't have to be personal, it doesn't have to be the result of some altercation or interaction. The only person's comfort and happiness that you are responsible for is your own. If someone is begging, bothering you, or trying to use you as a therapist or whatever, You can block them, you aren't responsible for someone else's actions. The block button is a universal feature on most sites for a reason. If someone is making you uncomfortable, you have two options to make the situation better. 

1. If you know the person and want to stay in contact despite the situation, you can contact them and let them know what theyre doing and how it affects you, many people simply arent aware of their actions, especially online, and may even appreciate the honesty and will work to improve themselves. if they start making excuses, blaming you, or blaming it on something else without wanting to change, that probably is a good sign that it's not worth the effort and you should just block them

2. Just block them!!

Cultivate your own online experience, again, you do not owe yourself to anyone except yourself. It's your choice if you want to help people, but if it becomes too much, its OKAY to step back. Don't be afraid to tell people who vent to you for help that you may not be mentally or professionally equipped to deal with their problems on top of your own. I'm guessing most of you aren't therapists, so you shouldn't be treated as such. 

Blocking someone isnt always some big dramatic sign of "I hate your guts", so if you've been blocked by someone it's better to not make a big deal about it. I understand that it can be nerve wracking and upsetting, but its best to try to not let it get to you too much. Some people just don't mix well. Of course, its best to avoid creating echo chambers and not block everyone with an opinion that differs from yours, but in the end its up to you to decide what online environment you want to create.

Real life can suck, and while we all probably have people in our lives that we'd benefit from cutting out, whether we realise it or not, that's just not always an option for us, so its okay to want to cut people you don't mesh with out of your online experience. It's not being 'sensitive' or 'overreacting' to just want to have a positive experience sometimes, it's not being unfriendly or whatever to not want to have to cater to everyone at every moment. You shouldn't have to constantly walk on eggshells (If you're following the rules and being a decent person at least). So once more.

You do not owe yourself to anyone, and the only person's happiness and comfort you're responsible for is your own.

This is as much of a reminder to myself as it is for you guys, i struggle with this kind of negativity and anxiety as well. I don't hate anyone, but its also important to remember that past actions of yours could have made someone uncomfortable. Even if you've grown, its okay to be blocked (I should know, I was an AWFUL teenager good lord im so sorry guys), and its okay to block others.

[officerhaughtstuff]

If you're going to go by history though, Wyatt Earp never had children with any wife. Wynonna Earp as a narrative departs from history by the very existence of Wynonna at all. I guess I don't understand where supposition of historical influence comes into play here when there's no historical basis for the show's own mythology. And we've seen Waverly make a sign of the cross on screen. Are there similar symbolic gestures in Judaism?

we have to assume that there’s some historical basis for their portrayal of wyatt earp, they list a number of true things about him when they mention him. the biggest differences that i can see (outside of the whole “evil witch” thing) are the nature of his split with doc holliday, his non-existant children, and that he ended up a small town sheriff. he really was a us marshall some of the time. not as much as implied in the show, but given that they dont give strict dates or percentages or even anything outside of “he worked with the law” or “he sought justice”, which are both true abstract statements, we can’t outright say that the show is incorrect about those facts. so, without any other evidence, and with no other obvious assumptions to make, I assumed its just wyatt earp’s life but slightly divergent from reality. also, given that we’re given pretty much jack shit in terms of the earp family tree outside of: wyatt earp, some people, ward and his kids, its fair to find some sort of framework to construct a narrative on. i mean we dont even know all the details of the curse. or who cast it. or why. how does magic work? what exactly separates revenants from demons? how does the black badge and other assumedly existing organizations (not that we have proof of those, mind you) cover up every single magical occurence and governmental response to these occurences? in the modern age of social media? you cant tell me there arent a million viral videos and other documentation of fucking lizard me doing kickflips or bigfoot doing her hair. why is waverly given two contradicting dates for her birthday? (in the show she says shes a virgo. on the canonical syfy website that gives facts abt each character it says she was born in Februrary (9th i believe) which im p sure isnt virgo) how old was willa really when bobo got her? what is the real age difference between the earps? cause the headstones and the verbal retelling say different things. i like history and this show includes a lot of history. so i chose history. technically you can choose anything you want. thats the fun thing that comes with headcanons. you can construct the narrative any way you want. i happen to be a nerd who likes to try and figure everything out on my own, so i went for what seemed to be the most practical way for myself to try and guess at some answers and fill in some gaps. you can use whatever logical method you have to answer these questions, unless you’re trying to tell me that i shouldn’t bother guessing at all because no attempts to explain or learn about anything in that universe will be based in entirely logical and accurate frameworks and facts.

and while i appreciate the thought, i was aware of wyatt earp’s history. him not having children is kinda a big thing you notice if you look up his family tree. if you want proof of my doing historical research for my framework, here’s the post where i talk about wyatt earp and also his wives and why i came to the conclusion that Sade/Josie was likely the mother of his children in the show.

that post is literally the first time the earps being Jewish occurred to me. I didnt construct an identity for them and then create a backstory to apply it. i just filled in a backstory to the best of my ability with as much accuracy in the realm of my framework as I could, and the identity came naturally as a part of that. i think that the earps being Jewish is a good thing that fits in the universe and that it would be interesting and could be good storytelling to explore in fics, headcanons, meta, and the show. im not actually forcing anyone to believe this if they dont want to. i know that the “PSA” thing may sound like it, but honestly i dont give a flying fuck what anyone else wants to believe. id like people to think about it, and id like the idea to get out to more people, and id love to see more of it and talk about it. but if no one else wants in, ill be over here on my Jewish!Earps boat by myself.

and as for the sign of the cross thing, that can easily be a cultural thing. as i said earlier, i dont think ward was big on teaching anything that wasnt alcoholism or violence so im not sure that wynonna and waverly would be raised knowing a lot about their heritage or their religion. and yet another thing that makes a kid different in a small town like purgatory where you’re already known as the crazy family with the bad seed adn the freaky genius sisters? itd be easier to just do what all the other kids are doing. half the people i know that do the sign of the cross in moments like that do it out of habit, they pick it up from family or church or school. the other half are truly religious people. given what we’ve seen of the earp sisters they don’t strike me as devote, religious catholics. waverly as we know is the type of person who spent years changing herself to fit in with everyone else and find connections to people (like in an emotion way, not a business way)

as for your question about similar gestures in Judaism, i am unfortunately not an expert in Judaism. I was raised protestant, then went to a catholic school in a Very Catholic area for over a decade. i know more about catholicism than Judaism. from what research i did i couldn’t find anything that stood out as similar to the catholic sign of the cross gesture. id be open to being corrected by Jewish people who have a better answer/experience.

i think waverly would be interested in researching to find out more about that part of her heritage, but that doesnt erase years of habit. wynonna i think would be uninterested in religion or culture really, even her own. she’d like listening to waverly though and she’d be willing to help waverly when waverly wants/needs it. so any real evidence i think that the earps would show of their heritage and religion would be learned and started later in life, as well as not being their primary instinct (at least when compared to what they picked up from exposure. like the sign of the cross)

[fitnessexpert00-blog]

Fitness Isnt a Lifestyle Anymore. Sometimes Its a Cult

New Post has been published on https://fitnessqia.com/must-see/fitness-isnt-a-lifestyle-anymore-sometimes-its-a-cult/

Fitness Isnt a Lifestyle Anymore. Sometimes Its a Cult

San Franciscos Fort Mason park is empty in the early morning darkness, every surface the color of a used cast-iron pan. Its pouring rain, and Ive been wandering around since just after 6, trying to find well, Im not exactly sure. All I know is that, according to a Facebook post, members of one of the strangest fitness groups in the country are supposed to be meeting here right about now. But the Google Maps screenshot I pulled from the website seems to have directed me to a parking lot. Or the front door of the high-end vegetarian restaurant Greens. Its hard to tell.

I check Facebook again.

What are you planning to do for the first Monday of 2016? Sleep in? Lazily slog on into work? No need for that. Come join us for #DonutMondays at NPSF (Gil, dont forget the donuts!). Fort Mason. 6:25AM

Just as I start thinking Ill have to find my own doughnut, a woman in her mid-twenties jogs up to me looking equally lost. Shes dressed in a gray Adidas jacket, black leggings, and a tank top that resembles caution tape. Her wet hair is stuck to her forehead as though shes just been dunked in the Pacific.

Do you know where November Project meets? she asks with a slight accent. Relieved, I tell her Im trying to find them as well. Im Stine! she says.

And then she hugs me.

What distinguishes November Project is not just the fact that its freejust as instructors arent paid, members dont paybut the degree to which it actually is a social identity. The movement extends beyond exercising to encompass rituals and customs, social expecta­tions, and repercussions for failing to participate. Thats right: If you skip a November Project workout, youre not out any cash, but the fallout is arguably more severe. Youre, well, shamed. Online. Its weird.

Spoiler: Not a lot of people miss workouts. Teixeira calls it an absolute feast for someone studying motivation for exercise.

One member compared November Project to a church. More commonly, people refer to it as a cult. Never in the pejora­tive Im-trapped-and-I-cant-escape sense, though. More like, This is the greatest-tasting Kool-Aid in the world!

Laura McCloskey leads the San Francisco tribe in a high-intensity workout. Hugs and hand-holding are not optional.Jake Stangel

While we walk, Stine, whos originally from Denmark, tells me about her obsession with November Project. Shes been a member of the Boston tribebears repeating: tribefor about four months and is visiting San Francisco for the week. Its been such a great way to meet people. Cities can be lonely, but you have this instant community, she says, using a nice-enough line that begins to sound like propaganda as I hear other members repeat it.

Two people who say it a lot are Brogan Graham and Bojan Mandaric. They are November Projects cofoundersand they totally fit their gladiatorial-sounding names: 6-foot-tall, bald, tattooed former collegiate rowers. Back in 2011, when the friends were trying to stay motivated during a Boston winter, they agreed to work out every weekday morning at 6:30, keeping track of their progress on a spreadsheet named for that first month, November.

Then, for reasons neither can quite remember, they sent out a tweet to see if anyone would join in. Two people became three, and a movement was born. When the Boston tribe reached 300 people, Graham and Mandaric got matching tattoos.

In the past few years, fitness has developed into some­thing of a social identity — at least among plugged-in, upper-middle-class, roughly millennial-age urbanites.

It was a powerful turning point for Graham. During his sophomore year at Northeastern University, he was charged with assaulting a rival college rower. Though the charge was dropped in exchange for community service, he lost his scholarship and was kicked out of school. The experience shaped Grahams views on community and inclusion. Got a bad rap? I dont care, he wrote in the movements official history. Are you at November Project to be kind, work your ass off, and start your day right? Then thats all that matters.

As Stine is telling me how much she loves November Projects instant community, we find who were looking for. Unmistakably silhouetted against the foggy morning sky, about 40 people stand in a lopsided semicircle, arms crossed, heads bowed against the wind. They could be praying.

A woman in striped leggings and a North Face trucker hat climbs onto a park bench. Good morning! says Laura McCloskey, the San Francisco tribe leader, in a stage whisper. Were going to do a workout that I just came up with! I want everyone to break into groups of four! Find your four! Try to group up with someone you dont normally pair with!

Jake Stangel

Before we start, she asks if today is anyones first time. A few people raise their hands. I, not quite ready to give up my anonymity, do not. The newbies are directed to state where they come from, how they got here, and whether theyre single. A version of this happens at every November Project meetup, one of the traditions borrowed from Graham and Mandarics original Boston tribealong with chants, stair laps, a rallying move called the bounce, and, of course, physical affection. People come looking for a sense of belonging, Mandaric says. We foster that.

The same thing goes for November Projects other tactics for promoting inclusiveness. Hashtags are essential follow November Project on Twitter and youll see a lot of #hills­forbreakfast, #sleepwhenyouredead, and #justshow­up. Members usually don highlighter-colored sportswear, stenciled and spray-painted with the logo #grassrootsgear. The result is a group of people who look alike, sound alike, and hug alike.

Toward the end of our workout, a man in my squat group finally discovers that I didnt announce myself as a new member. Were going to fix this, he says with a grin. He outs me to McCloskey, who has me wave to everyone during the group photo (another ritual) and apologize for not making my presence known. Eventually, everyone becomes part of the tribe.

Jake Stangel

In Graham and Mandarics crew days, their coach had a policy: If anyone missed practice, the whole team had to do dry-land workouts. It worked because nobody wanted to let the group down. When they started November Project, they knew theyd need a similar system for keeping people accountable to the tribe.

I feel a tiny bit of thisan expectation that no one is above the groupwhen Im teased for not introducing myself. But thats nothing compared to what happens to someone who doesnt show up for a workout. For that, November Project has perfected a bizarre, more 21st-century form of establishing accountability: online shaming. This is known as We Missed You.

From November Projects website: If you decided that staying in bed was a better option than working out with your friends (who you promised that youll be there) then your face will be featured here.

Members usually don highlighter-colored sports­wear, stenciled and spray-painted with the logo #grassrootsgear.

By face, they mean embarrassing photos lifted from the shamed members Facebook profile or supplied by friends. Posts go on to explain that this person committed to attending a workoutmade a #verbal, in tribe-speakbut reneged. Screenshots of text messages and emails confirming said #verbal are posted, along with guesses as to why the absentee might have failed to show upanything from you must have gotten too drunk the night before to perhaps you were lost on a Segway tour. Its an elaborate expression of profound disappointment in the offending person, and there are hundreds of examples on the website.

Paddy OLeary, a member of the San Francisco tribe, remembers when he skipped a workout in 2013. A fellow member made him a We Missed You video; he hasnt missed a workout since. Other victims confirm the tactics effectiveness. You look like an idiot for sleeping in when everyone else is having an amazing time, says Holly Richardson, also in San Francisco. Its not worth it.

McCloskey makes no apologies for the policy. November Project is successful because it relies on word of mouth and accountability, she says. If I tell you that I will meet you at the corner of Market and Sanchez to run to November Project, come rain, snow, or dinosaurs, I will be there. In the event that someone sends one of those pathetic just cant do it texts at 5:55 am, we have the right to roast them. And roast we do.

Jake Stangel

Heres the fundamental thing about shaming: According to behavioral psychologists, its not supposed to work. Sure, it might force someone to make a change in the momentcontestants on The Biggest Loser shedding pounds before a national audience, for instancebut the effects dont always last. When your goals, attitudes, or values are shaped by external motivators, its unlikely youll stay satisfied or committed for long.

This is certainly true when it comes to working out. For decades, experts in behavior modification have tried to get people to commit to exercise. So far, nothing has worked, says Jack Raglin, a professor of kinesiology at Indiana University. It doesnt matter if youre paid to exercise, if youve paid to exercise, if you might die from lack of exercisemost people just dont stick it out.

Yet theres an undeniable element of shaming to this latest generation of exercise fads. It may have started with fitness trackers, which made people more aware of their activity levels in relation to othersreach 10,000 steps or your coworkers will know youre a slob. From there, programs began capitalizing on group pressure. In Orangetheory workouts, your calorie burn and heart rate are displayed on a screen. CrossFit posts scores as well, believing it encourages people to push harderand now its in 13,000 affiliated gyms worldwide.

But this motivation strategy, researchers like Raglin and Teixeira suggest, could be as doomed as any other. You may initially want to impress your peers or get your moneys worth, but those considerations rarely lead to true behavior change. If the standard adherence rate for exercise holds, Raglin says, half the people will stop showing up to these classes within a year.

Youd think this would apply to November Project too. After all, the threat of We Missed You is external. But there are some differences. November Project members are not paying anything to be there, the goals arent about burning the most caloriesyet people show up anyway. And many of them have been at this for years, without ever missing a single workout. Its clearly working for some people.

Jake Stangel

True motivation, Teixeira says, takes something extra, something intrinsic. If members of a group think they are gaining useful skills, feel personally valued, and perceive that they have control over their actions, they are more likely to fully commit. Teixeira believes November Project gives you a bit of all these things. And indeed, everyone I talk to seems like a lifer. But then again, I only talk to people who are there. The one real data point we have is that November Project continues to expand. A recent partnership with the North Face aims to help grow the movement.

Jennifer Hurst, an associate professor of health and exercise science at Truman State University, suggests November Project may be succeeding at pulling off a rare thing: positive shaming. It only works when the person truly cares what the shamers think, she says. The desire for social connectedness and the positive feeling some get from the environment must be worth the time, energy, and sacrifice. That explains why the rituals, cultlike as they seem, are so crucial. You dont want to disappoint people you hug, not to mention chant and bounce and dance with.

A number of years ago, Raglin and his colleagues found that married adults who enrolled in a recreational fitness program together had an average adherence rate of over 90 percent, compared to just 50 percent for those who enrolled on their own. The married pair didnt necessarily exercise together or even in the same room, Raglin says. They simply came and left together. Yet the social benefit was quite profound.

That may also help explain November Projects success. Members might not be married to each other, but theyre married to the group. And the group is what holds November Project together.

Jake Stangel

It turns out some November Project members actually are married to each other. At one of my workouts, a young couple tells me they met in the Boston tribe. The movement encourages this sort of thingleaders are expected to host mixers and speed-dating events. The phrase There will be babies appears on the blog and in promo material.

Yes, its all a bit creepy, and I dont blame passersby who look at us funny (there are many of them). And no matter how many times Im told that We Missed You is not about shaming, its about love, I wont be entirely convinced. But you cant deny the smile on these peoples faces. Nobody looks like that when theyre huffing it alone on a treadmill in their garage. I wont be heading up a November Project tribe back home in Santa Fe, but if one comes to my town, I wouldnt say no to a few hugs.

With dawn creeping over the edges of the city, we put our arms around each other and start to bounce. Yall good? someone says, in signature November Project whisper-shout. Fuck yeah! the group whispers back.

Surprising myself just a little, I say it too.

Meaghen Brown (@meaghenbrown) is a freelance journalist based in Santa Fe, New Mexico, and the former online fitness editor for Outside.

This article appears in the July 2016 issue.

Read more: http://www.wired.com/